Neither one
It’s all mental and My mind most definitely listens to what I tell it! All is well and living with an AIDS diagnosis isn’t something that I focus on it’s the fact that I am in control of My journey in life!! Change was uncomfortable but like the butterfly 🦋 I’ve been transformed!! PHUCK FEAR BE FREE

Not living with HIV. Meaning death. My poor choices in life have shortened my life. But it's never to late to start living healthier

My biggest concern is that we will not find the cure in my lifetime.

One of my biggest fears is having more resistances; I am resistant to quite a bit of the ART's as it is, and therefore I am in a kiddie pool of medications that I can use. One margin of mistake, one forgetful night, any chance I give my strain a moment to mutate is something I simply cannot afford.

My second fear would be that I would go back to when I had AIDS (I mean I will always be diagnosed with AIDS; once you cross that bridge there is simply no going back) but what I mean is when I was 90lbs, barely functional, throwing up all the time, wasting away in a hospital bed soiling myself... I know that's unlikely since I am very strict with my current ART. Every single day, no matter what, once the clock strikes 6:30pm (not 5:59pm, not 6:31pm, 6:30pm ON THE DOT) I take my meds.

My third and final fear is being forgotten about, in the way that all these new advancements like Injectables, or being on a 1-pill a day, I can't partake due to my resistances. I am afraid that there will be nothing for me in the future just based on how mutated my HIV strain is. I mean its great for those of us who have a clean strain of HIV (no mutations) and have a plethora of options; but for those of us who do have resistances (quite a few of them) it makes it very complicated for treatment options that I would want vs. what I can have.

Living with HIV does not have to be a journey paved with fear. By following the right self-care practices and adhering to the treatment prescribed by an HIV specialist, one can manage the condition effectively. Fear is unnecessary and counterproductive, especially when facing something unseen yet manageable.