Hey man, I know it's months after you posted and hopefully you've got some answers. Imo, there should be no not disclosing your status. There's nothing wrong with us. Not that I didn't struggle and maybe I'm over biased because of how HIV was transmitted to me, but at the end of the day it should definitely be told before you have sexual relations of any kind and if the talk goes well, get tested together and make a game plan both of y'all are comfortable with.