If we don’t watch each other’s back then who will?

I have to be honest. I thought I did until I joined this group and started talking to people here. Then, I realized I was in a bit of denial. I had told people and not that they have said anything to anyone else, that I know of, I feel that maybe it has changed how they feel about me. It has been disappointing and I have had to go through the 7 steps of death in our relationship, but I must move on and become a stronger person.

I've told damn near everyone who can read. (All these answers and more are in my book). After nearly 33 years IDGAF if people know or decide to bury their head in the sands of ignorance. I'm not proud of it (how I got it... it's in the book), but I am not ashamed, embarrassed or withdrawn because of it. In the early days we didn't know anything but now we are more educated and hopefully we help the next person get to the same point as we are.

I have two straight female friends that I share this with but they have no idea what this disease means and the toll it takes. One has diabetes so I think she may have an idea. But anyone I tell has no idea of the stigma and the restrictions that come socially, physically and emotionally having HIV brings with it.

I recently re-read what I had written awhile ago and I think now I was too harsh. I didn't want to discuss my status with friends, not even gay friends. Talk about something left in the closet. But I did have 4 HIV positive friends which amazingly is very few. Two are deceased, one is a total sex-obsessed flake, and the other, still a very good friend who lives across the country. Even with him I never discussed HIV because we were, are still are, living our lives. Now I have a few friends, one a very special friend, whom I have met on this site. I get to express myself but hardly anyone keeps in contact. Like I have said before no one wants to, or knows how to, write. It is all a bit disappointing as I and maybe two others make a regular effort to communicate and connect. Oh well!