A man in San Francisco by the name of Tez Anderson has started a Group online dedicated to addressing the unique trauma of long-term HIV survival. He calls it ASS (AIDS Survivor Syndrome), similar to PTSD but with certain elements unique to HIV.
Having been HIV+ since June 1995, I totally understand the array of negative emotions and behaviors that living long-term with HIV can cause. Anderson's website explains his understanding of AIDS Survivor Syndrome pretty well; his website can be found here:
https://letskickass.hiv/

I went and got tested after my fiancé (now husband) tested positive. By that time I was pretty sure I would be positive as well...I mean, how could I have dodged that bullet? It took forever to get the results. My doctor first told me that the screening was negative and that screenings are usually pretty accurate. A few days later she called me while I was at pharmacy getting meds for my husband. Here's how conversation went:
Carla: Hello?
Doc: Hi Carla. I have your results. I'm sorry but you are positive for HIV.
Carla: Um, okay
Doc: Are you at home, do you have someone with you?
Carla: No, I'm at Rite-Aid, alone, and maybe you should have asked me that first!

Every time I go to that Rite-Aid and see the counter I leaned on, I think about that phone call. I never spoke to that doctor again. I went on to find the best ID doctor

The day my husband was diagnosed was much worse emotionally. He was already very sick. We got the news, went and did tons of labwork and chest X-rays and all that. But we ended the day going for a drive to look at Christmas lights like we would any normal Friday night in December. Doing that made a huge difference in out outlook. we didn't realize it at the time but it was a statement to this disease saying, 'fine, you are part of us now but life goes on as normal as possible."

@A myHIVteam Member thats is so awful I swear it has to be malpractice to treat people like that.

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