That One Day
We all have are stories on how we ended up here. But do you remember what was your first reaction when you were told you had turned HIV positive or that you have AIDS. Mine was not what I thought it would be. I kind of knew it was a matter of time since I was putting my self at risk for 20 plus years. And I was lucky enough to evade the inevitable for those 20 years .So when my doctor told me im positive I was not surprised. However I went out of his office and went into my car and cried… read more
I was diagnosed in January 1995, its a day that will live on in infamy, if I may quote President Roosevelt's Speech after the attack on Pearl Harbour. No disrespect to all the US naval staff that perished that day. May their dear souls rest in peace. I felt I'd been attacked on all fronts at the time. There was no treatment available apart from the much dreaded AZT. I prepared for death as I already had Shingles, one of the first signs if HIV Infection. I was reasonably well until November 1995 when I was diagnosed with HIV Encepholopathy. The virus had attacked my Brain, which is normally a terminal situation,and this condition resulted in agonising refered pain all round my body. I was put on Morphine until the first ever Combination Drugs became in March 1996. Following this treatment I miraculously rose from my death bed in a London Hospital. And have had another 28 years on Earth beyond my expected death.
For me it wasn't a big surprise.
I knew I was behaving rectlessly.
And when I received the news. I had just spent the past 2 weeks on antibiotics for clymidia and gonorrhea. It didn't take me till about a year later. For realty to set in then I lost it.
I thought I was going to die. I didn't know which route to Take. And it was at that point I went through a stage of infecting as many people as I possibly could, I was angry.
I wasn't angry. At the person who gave it to me. I wasn't angry at the virus. I was angry with my own behaviors. The news actually saved my life rather than take it. It was a eye opener that I wasn't Superman and indestructible. Catching, the virus was the only way that I would have ever stopped the behavior. Good question, Brad, everyone have a great day.
It's strange. I didn't cry when I got the news. I immediately began chastising myself that I knew better, and I was responsible for letting this happen. My shame eclipsed my sadness. It was 1988. I was 24.
I was 7-8 months into a monogamous relationship with a man who was HIV-, so I was infected in 1987. I had an HIV- test right after we met, when I must have already been infected. I thought my partner was infected, that I caught it from him, until he tested negative. It was a strange, and mixed up time.
PS: @A myHIVteam Member. I also waited until 1996 before my first round of AVT. It was CombiVir (AZT/3TC) + nevirapine. I had to stop the nevirapine almost immediately. I stayed on CombiVir for 3 years (1996-99). "Undetectable" throughout. Stopped in 1999. Resumed AVT in 2012.
I lived in the state of denial for a couple of years .
Then I decided that if I were going to take control of my life after such devastating news that I was going to have to take the first step .
Having saved the number one of the nurses had given me to a local hiv / aids clinic decided after 2 years that I should stop denying the truth because reality must be net head on .
From that point I was taking control of my life because dammit I wanted to live a long time !.
( way back then the diagnosis to death ratio was still a 10 year window ) .
Got my first consultation with the very sane Dr I see today and that was that we formulated a plan of action and began the steps to implement it .
I went on as a non progressive for the next few years which made me happy because I had not had much change and my viral load was consistent which made her happy so my life was as close to " normal " as I could have wanted .
Then the sorry side of the saga that is my life started in 2000 and well here I am .
Well when I was diagnosed in late 1998...I was living in Madrid, Spain...I felt very ill went to the doctor and was told I had AIDS...
After spending 2mnths in the hospital I was strong enough to return home...
So in answer to your question...no I wasn't surprised ...and I was more upset at having to return to Canada...than finding out I had AIDS...
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